Monday, June 22, 2009

Family Help Tip: Dollar Store or Marshall Fields?

My question for the Family Help Tip today is: What value do you place on your family? Do you have a Dollar Store mentality of your family, or a Marshall Fields mentality? Consider this: The value of an item is determined by the cost you're willing to pay for it? If you want to buy a cheap t-shirt, you can go to the Dollar Store and purchase a shirt off the clearance rack. But, if you want to purchase something that will last longer and make a fashion statement, then you're definitely not driving to your local Dollar Store, but rather a more elite store like Marshall Fields. You can buy cheap off-brand products, or you can go for the gold and purchase name brand items: The bottom line is: How much are you willing to spend for that item?

So, switching gears to your marriage and your kids: On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, take a minute to do an honest evaluation. How much have you invested into your family up to his point? Write it down. Are you taking the Dollar Store approach, and investing a couple dollars here and there by flippantly saying "I love you" (if even that), but not being willing to invest quality time or add value to your family relationships? Perhaps the root to some of your family problems is "valuelessness" (I'm not sure if that's a real word or not?) ...i.e. not placing enough value on your family, your marriage, and your kids. (Ouch, that hurt!)

Here's the deal! You need to be honest with yourself. Is the reason your marriage is in shambles because you didn't invest enough time or energy into making it work? Is the reason your kids are driving you crazy because you aren't spending enough time parenting them and being there for them? Is the reason you are no longer communicating to your spouse, because you quit trying? Here's a good test:
  • When is the last time you took your wife out on a date (Yes, you are supposed to keep dating your wife!)?
  • When is the last time you complimented your husband, and on purpose said something nice to him, instead of complaining about all the unfinished projects around the house?
  • When is the last time you sat down and listened to your teenager and tried to get into his/her world?
  • When is the last time you took a day off to spend with one of your kids? (If you're a school teacher, plug your ears, but yes, why not have a "Skip Day"... Your kids will love you for that one!)
  • When is the last time you went on a family vacation?
  • When is the last time your family sat down and ate dinner together, or even spent more than 10 minutes together at a time?
  • When is the last time you played basketball with your son?
  • When is the last time you had a family night?
  • When is the last time you went to your daughter's soccer game, to show her that you're her biggest fan?
  • When is the last time you took your teen out for ice cream for no reason?
  • When is the last time you told your kids you were proud of them and then bragged on something they did?
Quit being cheap! Even if you're dutch, family is one thing you don't want to skimp on! I'll end with this whopper of a question, that might end up being a punch in the gut. But hey, if it hurts, then it needed to be said:

If you're not sold on your family, why should they be?

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