Family Help Tip: Wishing Isn't The Same As Believing

Many of us wish that things could be better for our family, but that's as far as we go with it. We wish, and wish, and wish upon that star that's way up in the sky:

• We wish our marriage would be better.
• We wish our kids would listen to us and not throw those temper tantrums.
  
• We wish our family problems would disappear into thin air.
• We wish we could communicate with our spouse better and actually understand them.
  
• We wish we could change the direction our teen is headed towards.
• We wish our family finances weren't in such a financial straight jacket.
• We wish we didn't have to go home to a house full of arguing and turmoil.
• We wish we could see eye to eye with a family member.
• We wish the dog wouldn't dig up the yard.
• And the list goes on and on....
  

But the problem with wishing, is the star isn't within your reach. Wishing never makes things happen.... but believing does! If you really believe in your family, then you'll do something about it. The difference between wishing and believing is that one is passive and the other is proactive. If you truly believe in something you'll invest everything you've got into making it happen.

So, let's reword what we said above:

• Quit wishing you could save your marriage... Instead answer "What steps am I going to take to save my marriage? How can I show my husband/wife that I love them unconditionally? How can I invest more time into our relationship and show more value to my spouse? Do I need to apologize for past behavior that wounded my spouse's heart and took away their trust? "

• Quit wishing that family problems would disappear... Instead answer, "How am I going to resolve this family problem? Who do I need to talk to for advice? What books can I read for insight? What steps am I going to take to resolve it?"

• Quit wishing your teen would turn around... Instead answer, "What boundaries am I going to set to keep him/her from making poor choices and what will the consequences be? (Remember, you are the parent!) How can I improve my relationship with my teen? Who is my teen hanging out that they shouldn't be hanging out with? How can I start investing good things into my teen to offset the negative influence? (Maybe find a church youth group so your teen can build some good, healthy relationships)"

• Quit wishing your 5 year old would quit throwing tantrums.... Instead answer, "What disciplinary action am I going to take to keep him/her from throwing tantrums? (Don't forget to add a reassuring comment that you will always love that child even when they make poor choices, but it's because you love them that you aren't allowing them to continue this behavior).

• Quit wishing you weren't in such a financial mess... Instead answer, "What resources am I going to use to set up a budget and a plan to eventually work my way out of this mess? (I strongly recommend, Dave Ramsey's program, "Total Money Makeover") What spending habits do I need to change? What credit cards do I need to cut up?"

• Quit wishing you didn't have to go home to a house full of arguing... Instead answer, "What types of words am I going to STOP speaking?" (It's not any fun to argue with someone whose not going to retaliate back... Better yet that speaks kindness in return for anger!)

• AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, Quit wishing the dog would stop digging up the yard... Actually, I don't have an answer to that one, because I have two dogs that fit that category. Uugh! You're on your own for that one!
  

Today's Family Help Challenge: "Quit wishing and just start believing!"